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How to Get Over a Relationship Breakup

By Mary M Alward

At some stage in our lives, most of us will have to deal with a relationship break up. Depending on individual circumstances, coming to terms with it and getting on with life isn’t always easy. There are, however, several useful tips to help ease the transition.

Change your environment. Did you share a home with your ex? Give it a makeover! Some new paint, wallpaper and furnishings can work wonders.
For a temporary fix, fill an old box with any of your ex’s things that were left behind. Include all photos of the two of you together. Seal the box and put it in the back of a closet until you feel you can sort the items or throw them in the garbage.
Allow yourself time to grieve. The end of a relationship is like the death of a certain era of your life. While your life won’t be the same, allow feelings of anger, shock and sadness to surface and pass naturally. Eventually these feelings ease and disappear.
Don’t be harsh on yourself if it takes you a while to get over the breakup. Depending on the length and seriousness of your relationship, getting truly “over it” can take many months.
Write your feelings in a diary or journal. Write a letter to your ex and include everything that you are feeling. Read it and reflect on what you’ve written. Then burn it, to help put distance between who you are now, and who you were then.
Don’t deny your feelings. Acknowledge them and face them head-on.
Don’t dwell on getting back together. This will only bring more heartache when it doesn’t happen.
Don’t allow yourself to have a “pity party.” Grieving is okay, but self-pity will push you into a state of depression.
Consider joining a support group where you’ll meet people who are in similar situations and are dealing with related feelings. This may also help with feelings of loneliness.
Be sure to get lots of rest, eat a well-balanced diet and exercise regularly. Go for a walk or a bike ride to help give your body and mind a release valve.
Take time to relax. Pamper yourself. Spend time with others and enjoy their company. Take a bubble bath. Do anything that you like to do that makes you feel special.
Read, watch a favorite movie or listen to music. Avoid movies and music that you shared with your ex though.
Take up a new hobby. Do something that you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Travel. Book a cruise or take your dream vacation. Even if you can’t afford a lavish long getaway, a weekend away to unwind can be just as helpful.
Plan fun activities with family and friends, especially on weekends.
Before going to sleep, write a list of things that made you happy throughout the day.
Keep a positive outlook on life. A smile works wonders! People with a smile draw happy positive people to themselves. This can open new doors!
On the other hand, it is okay to cry now and then as well. Tears will help you to heal and help you let go, so you can move forward.
Look up an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while. Set a time to catch up with each other.
Volunteer for a cause that you are enthusiastic about. It could be the local hospital’s children’s ward, a nursing home or driving cancer patients to their treatments. Coach a children’s ball team or help out at the local food bank.
Work extra hours if you feel comfortable doing so. This strategy can boost your self-esteem by reinforcing how capable you are. Just don’t use work as a way to avoid your feelings! It won’t work!
Avoid starting a new relationship during the time you are grieving. Rebound relationships seldom work.
Your friends will listen.

Write your feelings down in a journal, talk to a friend, face reality.